CLUELESS

Guilt

2012-02-01T19:25:00.000-08:00

I felt guilty and still feeling guilty for making my friend's heart broken. I'm sure I did nothing wrong for her to be broken hearted. But then, the guy she likes likes me. The guy invited me on a date but I refused. I am just feeling this way because if the guy doesn't like me she would not have feel that way.

She may blame me but my conscience is clear. I did not flirt in any way with him. I will choose friendship over some guy.

I've been in this situation before and I handled it well. Whatever I did before, I did it again. REFUSED every invitation from the guy. But it seems like it's not working now. The guy might have sense that there will be no future for us but I feel my friend is kinda resentful towards me. And it's killing me. For those who knows me, they know how much I value friendship. Even Vince (my recent ex) knows that. If he were to let me choose over him or friends, I will always choose my friends. That is why, I will never ever date a guy whom my friend likes. Never ever. And it breaks my heart that my friend is treating me this way. I did nothing wrong and yet this is what I am getting. It really is hurtful.

Rafa

2012-01-29T23:13:00.000-08:00

My heart is still breaking right now. Rafael Nadal lost the 2012 Australian Open Championship to Novak Djokovic. It could have been his 11th Grand Slam title.

Rafa did great during the match. Of course he has unenforced errors, but then, it were compensated by all the great points he did.

After watching six hours of intense tennis last night, I adore so much more Rafael Nadal. Eventhough he lost the Championship to Novak Djokovic, I still believe that Rafa is better than Novak.

It is only the first Grand Slam Championship for this year; he still has 3 chances to earn another Grand Slam title to his name. And to that, I am very positive that he will win and regain his No. 1 World Ranking. Vamos Rafa!

NEW

2012-01-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have so many unpublished post in my List of Posts. Posts that I failed to publish because of many reasons. Reasons I still know and reasons I already forgot. Whatever the reasons were, I won't be publishing any of it. Instead, I will just make new posts. :)

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! :)

The One Who Let Me Be Away

2011-04-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

This is a post that has been in my hard drive for quite some time now...

For some, there are those who they consider as “the one who got away”. For me, I have this “the one who let me be away”.

He came into my life unexpectedly; little did I know that later he will disappear, also unexpectedly.

I was happy the whole time I consider us being close and all. I always smile just by thinking of him. Whenever he came close to me, I shivered. It felt like the first time you dip in a cold pool after a 5-minute sauna/steam bath. It felt like close to heaven, and I enjoyed every second of it.

It may be a cliché, but everything seems so perfect whenever I got the chance to spend a little time with him. He always finds time to talk to me almost every night. I cherished every conversation we wad, just like how I cherished him. A day will not pass without a single text from him and a big smile always follows every time I saw his name in my inbox.

He confessed his feelings to me. But I kept mine to myself. I was afraid that all are just fantasy.

But then, something happened. I do not know what it is. I do not have the slightest idea. All I know is that he suddenly cut me off from his life.

I don’t want to say that I was in wreck during those times. But I can say that it was heartbreaking. But then, I have to move on… I have to move forward…

anyone else but you

2009-03-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

love this song! :)

I'm always tryin' to keep it real,
Now I'm in love with how you feel,
I don't see what anyone can see,
In anyone else, But you..

Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches

Lost in transition

2009-03-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

There were so many things that (happened)/ I realized/ I thought/ I experienced/ (to me) since the last time I made my last post here.

Here are some:

* Mio celebrated his 28th Birthday. (Surprised him with some things.)
* We celebrated Nanay's 43rd Birthday
* I won an organizer during our Christmas Party (As to now, it do no help to keep me organize.)
* Karen gave me a cute mug and pillow (I also met her niece :) )
* Lars gave me a key chain (Gemini design)
* Anton gave me a mug (I always used it whenever I drink coffee or tea. It replaced my old favorite green mug)
* Ate ember gave me a card (It was YEARSssss ago since I last received a card)
* The after-party-Christmas-Party was so bitin for me. (It ended early. :( )
* My sisters gave me an oven as a Christmas gift (love it!)
* I did not bought Tatay a Christmas present (hmmmmmm..)
* Christmas 2008 was one of the saddest Christmas I ever had (hay)
* Neither New Year's celebration was fun (hay)
* I baked my very first cheesecake (yey! )
* I missed Vanessa's birthday celebration (I'm really sorry vane!)
* I became one of the Editorial Board in our journal without intending to be one nor part of the staff. I think I don't have the skills. ( Nevertheless, I submitted my article.)
* Tariff and Customs Law is so difficult but Prosecutor Dayog made it so easy. (thanks sir!)
* Its so hard to trust someone again even if you love them (....)
* Boracay, reckoned from May 22, 2006, is part reserved forest land and part alienable agricultural land. (the subject of my article)
* I started reading Coehlo's Valkeyries
* youngest child is a real-pain-in-the-ass
* I lost pounds. (so sad for it. :( i'll try to eat more starting today)
* I broke up with Mio (Painful yet I know that's the right thing to do)
* Nanay's first death anniversary (Much Painful.)

I'm hoping to have a nice vacay!

2009

2008-12-31T07:21:00.000-08:00

Cheers to 2009! Happy New Year everyone!

christmas

2008-12-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!

my verdict

2008-11-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

My friend was wrong. I don't find Tuesdays with Morrie inspiring enough. It has the same weight like The pursuit of Happiness. But all in all, the book was good. Still worth buying. And i found interesting aphorisms that I can include in my list. *smile*

Tuesdays with Morrie

2008-11-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

I was browsing Ticketworld’s website last night and saw a play to be performed on December 2. The play is entitled ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. Yes, it was the best selling book by Mitch Albom. I heard it before but never had a chance to read it (don’t have a copy or know anyone who has). When I saw it, I remember a conversation I had with a friend after watching the movie ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’, I told him, ‘Wow ha! Na-inspire ako for two hours.’ Then he told me, ‘Maraming mas inspiring kesa sa pursuit like Tuesdays with Morrie.’ From then on, it was stuck in my mind that I need to read that book. I want to feel ‘inspired’. It’s such a nice feeling, eh?

Today, I decided to grab a copy of the book. *smile*

After watching Body of Lies and while heading to West Gate to grab some dinner, I opened the book and started reading the praises/reviews written in the back cover and in the first four pages of the book. After reading the praises, I closed the book and reserved it for home reading.

I read it. I finished it. My verdict? I'll post it soon.

horoscope

2008-10-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

I just read my horoscope for today, here it is...

"Just because you said goodbye to someone doesn't mean that they still can't inspire or affect your future in a positive way. You take them with you wherever you go, and they will always be a part of you. So try to switch from sadness to gratitude that you ever got to know them in the first place! Your feelings are important to honor, but you cannot let them control your goals in life. Use your head today and start moving again, in a new direction"

hahaha! Natawa lang ako nung nabasa ko.

completing the puzzle

2008-10-29T11:23:00.001-07:00

Isn't it disturbing when you're trying to figure out an unsolved puzzle using your mind alone? And what's more troubling is when you're not sure if the puzzle you're trying to solve really do exist. It's really mind-boggling. Nevertheless, for me, it is somehow a mental exercise. I even use it to test my skills. I do test my own capacity. Why? Because the more I know myself, the less things upset me.

Today, the puzzle I'm trying to figure out for quite sometime finally came to life. I should be happy. Just like what Lindsay Lohan did in the movie "Georgia Rule (2007)", she finished a puzzle without looking in the actual picture provided in the box. She's so fulfilled the moment she finished the puzzle. And now, just like Lohan, I should feel the same. Fulfilled, accomplished and happy.

Unlike her, I was given some hints to solve the puzzle, hints that, on the beginning I thought were useless. But now, everything was set on their proper places, every hints which were futile before, played an important role now. The puzzle is almost complete. Yes, almost.

sembreak gala

2008-10-28T21:25:00.000-07:00

Friday

Pumunta kami sa Sto. Tomas, Batangas para makikain. Oo, kumain lang kami dun tapos umalis din kami. Ang kapal nga ng mukha namin kasi nag "take-out" pa kami ng saging.

Sa biyahe pa lang, ang saya saya na sa pamumuno ng aking friend na Dyosa. Feel na feel ko na sembreak na talaga. Pero sa hindi malamang dahilan, hindi binuksan ni kuya George ang aircon ng sasakyan nya. Ang init tuloy.

Friday pa din.

Pagkatapos sa Batangas, pumunta naman kami sa Pansol, Calamba, Laguna. Nakisali kami sa sem-ender celebration ng mga first year student. At syempre, nakikain ulit kami. At nakiswimming pa.

Ganda ng place. Courteousy of Kuya Egay. In short, libre din yung place. *smile*

Saturday Morning.

Uwian time. Hindi na kami nakibreakfast dun sa mga first year, nakakhiya na kasi. Haha! Meron pa la kami nun.

It's such a great gala. Bakit? Libre kasi lahat! P10 pesos lang ginastos ko. Yung pinambili ko ng taho! haha!

Kidding aside, enjoy kasi kasama ang mga kerengekeng kong friends kaya masaya! Kahit san kami mapadpad I'm sure maeenjoy namin yun.

truth

2008-10-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

Now I get it.
All the why's had been answered by just a sentence.
Now I know the answer.
It's a cliche, the truth hurts.

Isn't it ironic that when you realized that you truly love someone and that you want to keep him till the last breath of your life, it will turned out that he was not the person you thought he is? Even if you want him to be, still, it's out of your control and you can't do anything about it. We cannot force anyone to love us, to be true to us, to be with us as long as we want to. The only thing we can do is to show them how much we love them, even if it's only a one-way process.

Sabi nga sa movie na "A Love Story"..
" .... Alam mo ba hindii ko pinagsissihan na pinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko sayo? kaasi nalaman ko kung gaano kita kamahal."

--Ang cheesy ko tonight. Haay. I'm getting too emotional this past few months. I wasn't like this before. Waaaay far from this.

sembreak

2008-10-23T23:33:00.001-07:00

yey! at last! sembreak ko na!

ESTJ type

2008-10-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I took a personality test and this is the result..

Profile: ESTJ (Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging)

Every right-minded man has a philosophy of life, whether he knows it or not. Hidden away in his mind are certain governing principles, whether he formulates them in words or not, which govern his life. Surely his ideal ought to be to contribute all that he can, however little it may be, whether of money or service, to human progress.
--John D. Rockefeller, Random Reminiscences of Men and Events

ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translates into supervision. While ENTJs enjoy organizing and mobilizing people according to their own theories and tactically based agendas, ESTJs are content to enforce "the rules," often dictated by tradition or handed down from a higher authority.

ESTJs are joiners. They seek out like-minded companions in clubs, civic groups, churches and other service organizations. The need for belonging is woven into the fiber of SJs. The family likewise is a central focus for ESTJs, and attendance at such events as weddings, funerals and family reunions is obligatory.

Tradition is important to the ESTJ. Holidays, birthdays and other annual celebrations are remembered and observed often religiously by this type. The ESTJ is inclined to seek out his roots, to trace the family heritage back to honored ancestors both for a sense of family respectability and for a sense of security and belonging.

Service, the tangible expression of responsibility, is another key focus for ESTJs. They love to provide and to receive good service. The ESTJ merchant who provides dependable service has done much to enhance her self image.

ESTJs have an acute sense for orthodoxy. Much of their evaluation of persons and activities reflects their strong sense of what is "normal" and what isn't. ESTJ humor is frequently centered around something or someone being off center or behaving abnormally.

ESTJs promote the work ethic. Power, position and prestige should be worked for and earned. Laziness is rarely viewed with ambivalence nor benevolence by this type.

Some men can make decisions and some cannot. Some men fret and delay under criticism. I used to have a saying1 that applies here, and I note that some people have picked it up.
--Harry S. Truman, Mr. Citizen
1"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

The ESTJ is outspoken, a person of principles, which are readily expressed. The ESTJ is not afraid to stand up for what she believes is right even in the face of overwhelming odds. ESTJs are able to make the tough calls.

-- i don't think all of it are true. ;p

boomdeyada!

2008-10-17T09:24:00.000-07:00

It's such a great day! Final exam ko today sa Law on Taxation, 3hrs lang yung tulog ko and yetI feel so happy. These are one of the days I'm really thankful that I exist. It's not that I'm not thankful for everything I have. It's just that I'm extra thankful for today. *smile*

So now, I will tell you the reason why I'm extra happy today.

Butanding and I had lunch at our house today. Believe it or not but it's only our 4th or 5th time to had lunch together since.. you know when *wink*. Why? I'm nocturnal. I usually sleep between 4am-6am then woke up between 12nn-3pm. haha! You read it right! My classes during weekdays are from 6pm-9pm so my sleeping habits is suitable for my night classes. However, such is not compatible with Butanding's since he is a morning person. So today, I woke up before the clock strikes 12. We agreed to have lunch together. He went to our house. We had lunch together as I mentioned earlier. *smile*

After lunch, we studied together. I reviewed for my taxation exam whereas he studied for some laws he wants to master. hehe! In between, we were so kulit to each other. As always, I bit him, slapped him, punched him, pinched him, harrased him, hugged him and last but not the least, kissed him. He's kinda masochistic and I'm somehow sadist. haha! Great combination right?

After studying, he watch the baseball finals between Red Sox and Rays. I'm like a Martian while in front of TV watching the game. I don't have any idea how and what baseball is all about. Maybe I'm not really that sport-minded like Butanding. He's addicted to basketball, baseball, formula 1, etc. He's really addicted, I'm telling you.

After the game, he drop me off at school *sweet*. I took my bloody Taxation exam. Then we met for dinner. Very healthy dinner. *smile*

As for dessert, blueberry cheese cake for me and bannofee pie for him. Love it! *grin*

He drive me to our house. Then he went home. *sad face* Isn't it sad when you have to part from the one you love? *sigh*

I don't know but the events happen to me today sounds ordinary right? But it has this kilig effect on me. It really do. It makes me smile, smile, smile, and smile and sing.. "Boomdeyada.. Boomdeyada.. Boomdeyada.. I love the whole world.. It's such a briliant place.." *big grin*

baliw!

2008-10-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

The hardest part of being a law student is when you're asked to give your argument and then later on you will be asked to counter your own argument. Kabaliwan.

My sembreak.. So near, yet so far. Pray for me. I still have 3 exams.

disappointment

2008-10-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

it really works both ways.. i disaappoint you.. you disappoint me..

i love you this much award

2008-10-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

My first award from mimi! Thanks! =)

This award is made for those bloggers that you really love…

Rule:* LINK THE PERSON WHO STARTED THIS AWARD (That’s GEnYZe
Link to the person who ” LOVE ” you

Post the rules on your blog (this is what you are now reading). Tag 7 people at the end of your post and link to them.. Let each person know they have been “LOVED” and leave a comment on their blog.. I'm showing my love to the following: mimi, teresa, doc, maya, ms. j, barefoot.
i know we're not really acquainted with each other but I enjoy reading your blog. =)

interesting conversation

2008-10-02T07:10:00.001-07:00

got this somewhere..

INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor :You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So you Believe in GOD ?
Student :Absolutely, sir.
Professor :Is GOD Good ?
Student :Sure.
Professor :Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student :Yes.
Professor :My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us wou ld attempt to Help Others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD Good then? Hmm?

( Student is silent )

Professor :You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student :No.
Professor :Where does Satan come from ?
Student :From . . . GOD . . .
Professor :That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World ?
Student :Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make Everything. Correct ?
Student :Yes.
Professor :So who created evil ?

( Student does not answer )

Professor :Is there Sickness ? Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they ?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So, who Created them ?

( Student hasno answer)

Professor :Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD ?
Student :No, sir.
Professor :Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD ?
Student :No , sir.
Professor :Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter ?
Student :No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor :Yet you still Believe in HIM ?
Student :Yes.
Professor :According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son ?
Student :Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor :Yes. Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student :Professor, is there such a thing as Heat ?
Professor :Yes.
Student :And is there such a thing as Cold ?
Professor :Yes.
Student :No sir. There isn't.

( The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )

Student :Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student :What about Darkness, Professor ? Is there such a thing as Darkness ?
Professor :Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness ?
Student :You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light , Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light Constantly, you have Nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it ? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you ?
Professor :So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student :Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is Flawed.
Professor :Flawed ? Can you explain how ?
Student :Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life : just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you Teach your Students that they Evolved from a Monkey ?
Professor :If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student :Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir ?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going )

Student :Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor, are you not Teaching your Opinion, sir ? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher ?

( The Class is in Uproar )

Student :Is there anyone in the Class who has ever Seen the Professor's Brain ?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )

Student :Is there anyone here who has ever Heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, Touched or Smelt it ? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir ?

( The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable )

Professor :I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student :That is it sir . . . the Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.

Budgeting is the proper solution!

2008-09-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, umatend kami ng mass ni Butanding sa Greenbelt. Syempre madaming tao, most of them mga upper class and feeling upper class. Hindi namin intensyon na umatend ng mass sa Greenbelt that Sunday pero sa hindi malamang dahilan, napadpad kami dun.

Madaming tao. Natutuwa naman ako sa nakita ko kasi mukha namang sineseryoso nila yung sinasabi ng pari. Kaya lang minsan naiisip ko, ina-apply kaya nila sa everyday life nila yung natutunan nila sa homily. Most of the time kasi yung mga upper class ang tingin at trato sa mga taong mas mababa ang pamumuhay sa kanila basura. At saka, yung ibang tao, tuwing Sunday lang nagbabait, the whole week puro kasamaan at kaewanan sa kapwa ang ginagawa. Plastics!

Pagkatapos ng misa, nag-iisip na kami kung saan kami kakain. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero bigla na lang kaming hinangin ang utak namin at nagtrip kami bigla, siguro dala lang ng kakulangan ko sa tulog dahil sa bar operation. Habang naglalakad, tinatanong ko si Butanding gamit ang aking malakas na boses. "Sa Jollibee na lang tayo magdinner ha?" Sumagot naman si Butanding ng "Sige, 1-pc chicken joy yung akin, ay gusto ko na din ng chocolate sundae pwede ba?." Sumagot ako, "Huwag ka ng mag chocolate sundae, sakto lang ang pera natin. Magkukulang ang pamasahe natin pag nag sundae ka pa. Candy na lang gawin mong dessert." Nagpatuloy lang kami sa trip naming iyon na alam naming madaming nakakarinig. Intensyon talaga naming iparinig sa lahat ng tao na madadaanan namin ang usapan naming iyon. Gusto naming isipin nila at alam kong iisipin nila na "Ambisyoso kasi sa Greenbelt pa pumunta, wala naman pa lang pera!" Bigla kong naisip at sinabi ng mahina kay Butanding, "Grabe no? Isipin mo, ang daming tao sa Pilipinas ang hindi kumakain ng tama sa oras kasi wala silang pera. Yung tipong pag kumain sila sa Jollibee once a year or once in a blue moon lang. Maswerte tayo sa mga magulang natin."

Sabi sa balita, naghihirap na daw ang nakararaming Pilipino. Kaya lang sa tuwing napapadpad ako sa mga malls parang nagdududa ako sa balitang yun. Lagi kasing ang daming tao lalo na pag weekends. (Naiinis tuloy ako, ayoko kasi ng mall na maraming taong pagala-gala.) Kung naghihirap na talaga ang nakararaming Pilipino, di ba dapat sa mga importanteng bagay lang nila ginagastos ang perang pinaghirapan nila gamit ang kanilang dugo't pawis. Pero bakit ganun? Kung anu-anong chechebureche ang binibili nila. Then at the end of the day, magrereklamo na wala na siyang pera at kinakailangan na niyang mangutang para may magastos sya sa mga needs talaga nya. Tulad nung kapitbahay namin, tuwing payday, jusko, kala mo nanalo sa lotto. Okay sana kung grocery items/needs lang ang binibili nila, pero ang daming mga bagay na hindi naman talaga nila kailangan pero pinagaaksayahan pa rin nila ng pera. Pagkatapos ng isang linggo ng pagkapanalo nila sa lotto, maghahanap na sila ng mauutangan. Tsk. Kung marunong lang sana sila ng budgeting at kung alam lang nila ang mga dapat na pinapriority nila.

Bottomline: Minsan kaya nagmumukhang kawawa ang isang tao ay dahil na rin sa kanyang sariling kagagawan. (may koneksyon ba 'to sa post ko? haha!)

*ang post na ito ay epekto ng fish rolls na kinain ko kanina. haha!

when he cheats

2008-09-24T10:28:00.001-07:00

Nakakabaliw pala pag nalaman mong niloko ka? Lalo tuloy tumataas insecurity level ko.

In my 21 years of existence, this is the only time I felt someone cheated on me. And worst is, I love him so much.

I know I don't have much in life. I'm not pretty nor beautiful (same lang yun ah?). You cannot even connect the word "hot" to my name, face nor body. HIndi ako sosyal. I never was. I don't have brilliant brain. In short, I'm just an ordinary so-so gal walking around the earth. Not even close to being perfect. Ordinary. Boring. I do have great friends though.

I know he wants someone beautiful, hot, intelligent. Everyone wants to have his almost perfect girl, right?. Like his ex-girlfriend. A flight stewardess, came from a wealthy family, soft skin, red lips, fair complexion, a typical Class A or maybe upper B. I believe in the saying "there's more than meets the eye" so I assume her brain contains something sensible. An almost perfect girl. If you're a guy and you think you have a chance to win her or in his case, to win her again, you'll give it a shot right? Who else wouldn't want to have a perfect girl. Someone you can brag to your buddies. *sigh*

From the start I know I am not enough for him. He's an eligible bachelor. Came from a prominent family. Working for a renowed politician and businessman. As for me, I'm still a student. Came from somewhere you never heard of. See? He doesn't deserve me. He's too much for me. But then, when he courted me I told to myself, "Why not give the guy a chance, he might be worth the wait(since I was single for 3 years)."

Then came his infidelity. I don't know what to do. I can't decide. I can't even think. I don't know if I have to end this now or should I give him another chance. I don't know if I can still continue my relationship with him knowing he already cheated on me.

Despite the fact that everyone wants to be and to have an almost perfect girl. I still don't want to change who I am. I accept who I was, who I am, who I am not and who will I be.

If I was really not enough for him. I can do nothing but watch him go. Right? Maybe someone will come along and accept me for who I am and who I am not.

Taas ng insecurity level ko no? *big sigh*

Rain, rain, go away

2008-09-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

It was raining at 3pm today. Nevertheless, I prepared myself for school since I have a 6pm class. Got dressed. I even wear shoes. A little trivia, I don't like wearing shoes. I duno. I just don't like it. I want to look unprepared for recitation or any other school activities and if I wear shoes, I feel like I should be prepared 101% for recitation or else, sayang yung shoes.

Anyway, it was 5pm when I leave our house. It was raining hard that's why I brought my umbrella with me. I don't have car so I don't have any choice but to take two jeepney ride for me to get to school. On my way to the second terminal, heavy rain and flood (not much, but enough to drenched my shoes and feet) greet me. The moment I entered the second jeepney, I was all wet. My arms and pants, and even my shoes was soaked to rain water.

I arrived at school around 545pm. While walking in the school's pathway, I recieved a text message "La tayong class today." Nice. My efforts in going to school was all for nothing. Goodtimes.

I really love rain. I really do. But whenever I have to travel to school or to any other place and I need to ride jeepney and transfer to another jeepney, I cursed the rain. Just like a child, I want to sing "Rain, rain go away. Come again another day."

being sick and all

2008-09-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday.

The moment I woke up I already feel sick. My throat ache everytime I speak which after some realization I concluded that it's not my throat but my tonsil. I didn't even finish my breakfast because of that. Nevertheless, I still prepared and went to school. After my class, I feel cold yet it was midday and the sun is shinning brightly. Went home to get some stuff I needed for my overnight stay in Mabini Mansion. Went back to school to meet with my friends and classmates.

On our way to Manila, I felt lightheaded and cold so I decided to sleep in the car and eventually at Ate Ember's lap. (Thank you ate for allowing me to sleep in your lap*smile*) Upon arriving at the Hotel, I throw up and did nothing but sleep on the bed for quite sometime. The place is great, too bad I did not enjoy my stay. I tried to stay in the Hotel but my condition is getting worse. Mio advice me to go home so that I can rest. I followed his advice. He pick me up at the Hotel, and then we headed home. Good thing Mio was in Manila that night or else I'll be a burden to my friends.

I slept early. Haay, I can't thank Mio enough that night.

Sunday.

Still sick. I hate being sick. I guess no one love being sick.

Sarah and Meng went out shopping. Ate Bebi's (kasambahay) restday. Tatay is.. I duno where.

In short, I was home alone. Sick. *sigh*

I think of things that a sick girl can do. Watch TV. Listen to Music. Read some stuff. Then I end up sleeping. Woke up. Still I am alone. Poor me. *sigh*

At around 5pm, Sarah and Meng arrived. Then followed by Tatay. Yey! I'm not alone anymore. *big smile* However, Tatay and Meng leave the house again and headed to Meng's dorm.

Then Sarah and I together with Phom went to Nanay. Went back to house while Sarah and Phom go somewhere. And great! I'm alone again! *sigh*

Tried to watch TV again. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Someone open the door. Wow! I got company. haha! It was Mio. He gave me a hug and peck. *smile*

Sarah arrived. Watch F1, then Mio leave since he got some stuff to do.

Check my temp. I was smoking hot, literally. 38.4. Nice.

Monday.

Much better than yesterday. But my cold made my day hell.

Went to school. Had laugh trip with friends.

Attend Special Commercial Law Class. Hope Atty. Bawar gave some consideration in giving me reci grade today. Went Home. Ooh. Tripped someone on my way home. haha! Love it!

Got to watch House. Darn. It's a freakin sad episode. I almost cry.

I don't want to be sick again. Hope to be fully well tomorrow.

sick

2008-09-14T12:42:00.001-07:00

I'm still sick. I hate it. I feel helpless. What I don't like everytime I got sick is me, being emotional. Weird?. Yes, that's one part of me. Hope to get well tomorrow.

Not-So-Righteous-Kill

2008-09-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw the trailer, I told myself that I have to watch this movie. Seeing Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in one movie, sweet. Plus, the plot seems interesting.

However, my first impression did not last long enough.The movie was okay. Well, I'm quite disappointed since during the first 20 minutes of the movie you can already guess who is the serial killer and where the plot is going. The writer tries to leads you on to something complicated but then again you will see the obvious. Your brain will never ask you on what will happen next since the plot is really obvious.

Anyway, Righteous Kill is about a pair of police detectives on the trail of finding the serial killer who murdered criminals who seems to escape from the hand of justice. The serial killer's reason in murdering criminals? He lost his faith to his partner. The victims were always found with a four liner poems justifying the killing.

You'll love one-liner dialogue of De Niro and most especially Pacino. Pacino shows some sarcasm in the movie which make the movie less boring. I like the line "Most people respect the badge, Everyone respects the gun."

What's great about the movie? Seeing the two in one movie. Nothing more, nothing less.

no class

2008-09-08T01:31:00.001-07:00

no class

i’m planning not to go to class today.

My reasons:

1. my body ache.

2. i’m not prepared for recitation.

3. i don’t feel like coming to class.

4. it’s already past 4pm and yet im still in front of pc. ;p

impartiality

2008-09-04T11:42:00.000-07:00

Optimistic people see life as FAIR. But is it really fair?

I'm an optimistic person. I consider myself as one of the blessed creature on earth though sh*t happen. Nevertheless, my line of thinking and perception about life and persons around me remain positive. However, there are times that people just love to bitch around and be the jerk they are which often times pisses me off. I'm not expecting them to treat me the way I treat them. But what I'm praying is that they should be fair or if they really cant afford some impartiality, act that they're being fair to everyone even though they're doing the other way.

I'm not a saint nor act like one, I myself (but not all the time) is a bitch, I have shared some bad deeds but I never played unfair to anyone or at least I try not to. Everyone deserves to be treated alike. So treat the person around you in a fair manner.

a day in tagaytay

2008-09-01T12:03:00.001-07:00

Tagaytay.

First Stop. Church. We arrived at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish Church even before the mass started. So we had time to choose where to seat. After the mass, we just stayed there for a minute or so to see the place (this is our second time together in this church *smile*) and let all the cars leave.

Second Stop. Dinner. I wanted to go to the Cliffhouse. Even before we went to Tagaytay i told Mio that there's this nice place in Tagaytay where i want to have dinner. So off we go. At first we we're hesistant to go inside since the parking fee is P100 for 1 or 2 hrs (ata, i just can't remember) + addtional fees for excess hours but after such time of thinking we still went there, good thing they have that policy that if you ate there, parking fee will be absolutely free. As I said, the place is nice, uhm, actually it's great. You can have a nice view of Taal Lake since they have these seats near the cliff. There are, i think, 6 or 8 resto & cafe at the cliffhouse.

We decided to dine at Boun Giorno. The place is crowded (too crowded that we even think that they made the tv rack as an improvised table for customers. lol) nevertheless, the ambiance is good. Time to order. Mio had ripe mango shake, as for me i chose watermelon shake. The shake was ordinary, nothing special. Just like the Frutas version of watermelon shake. The glass is cute though, the handle of the glass was like a muscle arm. A glass muscle mug. Actually, I didn't notice it until after mio point it to me. hihi.

Btw, they're giving foccacia bread for free. But it was just four pieces.

We choose Penne All Arrabiata & Mare Pesto Pizza for dinner. The Penne was just okay, the pasta was al dente, however, the sauce was short of something. Even before ordering, the waiter told us that it's a bit spicy, well i think he lied. I never even taste a spicy flavor while eating the pasta.

Mare Pesto Pizza was quite delicious but its also short of something, that's why I stuffed it with parmesan to get the taste i wanted. The crust was too crispy which in my & mio's opinion was somehow overcooked. But I still like it.

After getting the bill, we stayed for sometime in the cliffhouse. We sat on the chair intended for viewing the Taal Lake. It's a nice night. Although the moon were nowhere to be found that night, still the cold breeze makes you feel good.

Third Stop. Coffee. We headed to a cafe named Java Jazz placed on left side of the road going to People's Park. When we enter the cafe, no customer/people can be seen except to the barista/waiter and to a manong. The music playing in the cafe was a bit sad, no, it's really sad. Yet we chose to stay and have coffee. Mine was iced cappucino while mio had a java mocha frost. Mine was okay but i don't like their java mocha frost, the Mocha Blends version is much better for me. What I like about the place is that their staff are friendly and knows how to serve well.

Despite the not-so-delicious food and drinks, I had a great night.

sunday with mio

2008-09-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

Sunday.
Mio's sched to his dentist.

Every time we visit his flirtatious dentist (why flirtatious? come with us and you'll see that she really is, a FLIRT!) we get to spend the whole Sunday together since we always meet at 9 in the morning then he'll drive me home at (almost always) 5pm.

It's almost lunch time when we leave his dentist's clinic. He's craving for Penne in Tomato Cream Sauce serve in Pizza Hut Bistro for almost one month, i repeat, one month. haha! So without thinking twice, we went to MOA. The moment our attendant handed us the menu, Mio is already decided what to order, as for me, I still don't know what I want to eat. After sometime of thinking and disappointment since the first two pasta I ordered wasn't available, I choose Cheese Ravioli. While eating our appetizer (onion rings), we noticed the newly arrived customer who sat in front of us. The girl has a long hair, fair skin, nice eyes, in short she's pretty, as for the guy she's with, well, I don't know how to describe him but i can say that he's not good looking (oo na! laitera na ko kung sa laitera!). We we're puzzled that time if they are in a relationship. Mio says that they are not in a rel because when the girl went to the restroom she's hesitant to leave her bag to the guy. But still, we're in doubt. I'm so curious that I want to ask the girl if the guy whom she's with is her boyfriend. But of course, I can't do that.

Anyway, the Penne arrived. Mio was in cloud 9 the moment he saw the Penne. hahaha! After sometime, I got my Ravioli. We enjoyed the lunch while talking bout everything under the sun (btw, we love talking) especially Mio since he got to eat his favorite Penne in Tomato Sauce Cream.

After staying for almost two hours in our table we decided to walk around the mall. There's a lot of people today at MOA and I hate it. I hate malls full of people. Its not that I hate crowd, I just hate it when malls seems too crowded like during Christmas season.

Anyway, we walked, check out some stores, talked, and walked, until we saw the guy and girl we saw at Pizza Hut. They even saw us looking at them. haha! At that moment, it was confirmed, he really is her boyfriend. Poor girl, lucky guy.

After hours of walking we went to KopiRoti (yey!).

Mio introduced Kopi Roti to me last June. After eating at Don Hen we went to Ayala Ave. to visit Kopi Roti. My coffee experience that time was great. As for those who don’t know, I’m addicted to coffee, be it instant or brewed or whatever. Anyway, the coffee was perfect to my taste; the French toast was as good as the coffee, and the Kopi Bun was just right for the coffee. After that Mio told me that we’ll visit Kopi Roti again some other time. And that ‘some other time’ is today *grin* it’s a good thing Kopi Roti has its branch at MOA, we don’t need to drive back to Makati (which I don’t think we will do since the price of gasoline is up to the ceiling, thanks to GMA!). Anyway, Kopi Roti is a foreign coffee shop just like Starbucks and other infamous coffee shop. Kopi means coffee and Roti means Bread.

As you can see, their coffee doesn’t look fancy not like in Starbucks. But hey! That is really a good coffee I swear! The white part that you can see in the picture is condensed milk, the creamer they use for their coffee. I really love their coffee because of it's heavenly taste and for it's cheap price.

I really enjoy their French toast with sweet potato (kamote) spread and butter. Yum! Next time we visit Kopi Roti, I want to try their Kaya toast, it seems that it taste good too.

I'm really inlove with their coffee and french toast as well. SOooo delighted. For that reason, I want to go back at Kopi Roti every now and then. *grin*

random

2008-09-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

I feel random for the past four days. For sure it will last a week. Why? I'm PMSing. Yes. And I hate it. I suddenly had cravings of anything. The usual effect. I get easily irritated by anything. I'm feeling that I need to suffice the needs of my sweet tooth. But then, I want to be pampered by Mio. However, he was like one thousand miles away from me, considering the fact that he's place is just a fifteen-minute-drive from our house. He's busy. He's tired. He's not in the mood. etc. etc. etc. I hate this time of the month. I hate him today.

the-after-fight

2008-08-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

Saturday afternoon.
It's drizzling outside. Yet, Mio and I decided to go to Tagaytay. It's somehow his punishment for my late night coffee with friends which caused our fight last night because I don't have my jacket or sweater with me and I'm wearing a thin, I repeat, thin, purple blouse. See how much he loves me?
Our first stop as usual. Church. Our Lady of Lourdes.
We're both starving the moment the mass ends. We went to Cafe Lupe to have dinner. The ambiance in Cafe Lupe that night is so romantic. The place were slightly lit. The music playing was just perfect as it was Juris singing mellow songs. You'll feel the cold breeze, much colder than the normal temperature in tagaytay. All was just perfect for a romantic setup minus the tv screen showing a basketball game that puts a smile at Mio's face. Here's a little trivia: Mio is addicted to basketball, so addicted. Anyways, We sat near the cliff where we can have a great view of the lake. We saw a fireworks display down below the cliff. I love fireworks. I just love it. *smile*
He wants Mexican Food while I don't crave for anything that night. So we ordered Beef Pajitas and Buffalo wings (Sorry I forgot to take pictures).The food was okay. Nothing to crave about but I enjoyed eating Pajitas. I'm starting to love Mexican foods, it's one of the effect of having Mio in my life. *smile*

After dinner we went to Starbucks to have coffee. It was crowded that time maybe because Monday is a holiday and everyone wants to enjoy their Saturday night since they have the whole Sunday and Monday to have their complete sleep. I never liked crowded coffeeshop, but still we stayed. We talked, appreciate the great view and laugh and laugh. We discovered one techy thing while having coffee. Mio's reaction to that? "Cool!" haha!
Goodtimes. *smile*

the fight

2008-08-17T13:40:00.001-07:00

Friday.

Midterm exam on Taxation.

Fourth day of not seeing Mio. It's the longest time that we've been apart because usually, we met three or sometimes four times a week. But since he's busy that he had to stay in Manila for like a decade to me and I had my midterms exam week, we decided not to see each other for sometime. It was hell. I'm not used to ending my days without seeing and being him. One or two days of not being with him is n mental and emotional torture so imagine the effect on me if it's longer than that. Can't help but think of him a lot. If only I have other means.

I don't have class on Saturday so we decided to meet up after my exam. I want to see him badly that day. After finishing my exam and handling my test booklet to the proctor I was really excited to leave the classroom because I know after the four long days, I will see my Mio. But to my disappointment, I received a text message from him saying that he was stuck somewhere in Shaw because of the flood caused by the heavy rain and he can't meet me. *sigh* Damn. I love the rain so much. It makes me feel relaxed and calm. But that day, I hate it. Argh.

I decided to have dinner with my friends at Gerry's. After dinner, Mio was still stuck in that place. My frail hope of seeing him that night vanished totally. Damn rain.

Our conversation through text that night wasn't good at all. We end up fighting. Being stuck in a place you never really want to be in the first place + four days of not seeing each other + me, being out late = not-so-good-combination.

Saturday.

He's still mad at me. I feel like he's going to break up with me anytime that day. I was scared. The love I thought that will last for the rest of my life was about to leave me. The abyss is welcoming me. I don't know what to do. Can't even think straight.

Then he asked me to meet him. But I told him that I don't want to meet him, that I'm scared that he just want to meet me because he just want to say straight to my face that he don't want me anymore, that if he will just break up with me he can tell it through text. So much for being a strong person. But then, he assured me that he will not do that. I feel relieved yet still feel anxious of meeting him. It's one of the hardest part in life, facing the consequences of your actions.

We met. Talked. And end up hugging each other. *smile*

I love him so much that I can't bear the thought of losing him.

love letters

2008-08-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

To MIO:

I will love you for the rest of my life. Be with me in the future. I don't want anyone else. It's only you mio. Trust me and my love for you. I know we've been together for only two months, but those two months are the most happiest times of my life because you we're with me. Just like you, I'm happy and contented with what we have. I'm not looking for anyone mio because I already found the one I want to grow old with, the one I want to build my future and family with. And that's you mio. I love you so much. I told you this before and I'm telling you again, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I will never be the same without you. I just can't imagine life living without you. So trust me when I say I love you and I wont do anything to break your trust. God knows how much I love you. I really miss you. Mahal na mahal kita.

-MIA

To MIA:
I love you so much din po.. I don't know what to do or say whenever you are being pursued by different men. I don't know why I react the way I do but I am so afraid of losing you.. My defense mechanism is just to tell myself sometimes that it's just too good to be true that I could be so happy and content right now, that maybe it's not meant to last.. In my life kasi, it seems that the good things are never meant to last, especially when the topic is happiness.. Please forgive me for feeling this way.. I do love you and believe you in everything that you do and say.. I just have such an inferiority complex within me that makes me so scared na someone can just come up to you and sweep you off your feet and off of my arms.. All I ask is for you to give me a bit of time to be more secure with you and with us.. Then maybe, just maybe, my fears and inferiority complex will disappear, and I won't react so violently and negatively whenever men come to you andt try to woo you over.. I love you so much that I can't bare the thought of losing you.. I've found a person that will make me happy, and I'm glad that I make her as happy as I am.. Please have patience with me and love me with the same intensity from now until the day God separates us because I promise you that I will do the same..

-MIO

psuedo relationship

2008-07-27T12:21:00.001-07:00

yah.. pseudo relationship.. others call it m.u. or someting in between bf/gf relationship and friendship..

PSEUDO RELATIONSHIP

its a term for a relationship between two individuals who care for each other.. and i bet they both have feelings for each other.. a mutual feeling of love.. but they keep on denying that feelings..

it often start in friendship.. txt txt every single chance.. and teasing each other in every given moment.. a game of kulitan..

they keep checkin bout what keepin them busy every single day.. bout how their day goes.. even checkng every single detail that happen in a single day..

they forward sweet quotes which is their way of making some hint to the other party bout what they really feel but when the other getting serious bout the topic one of them will joke with something like.. "xempre where friends!" and the moment was gone for them..

they go out.. plan date.. give gifts.. even drop some call with no reason at all..

sad thing is.. inspite the bf/fgf setup.. they always tell to each other that they are friends.. nothing more nothing less.. but in reality.. they fallen for each other even back then but they keep on denyin it..

they never really talk about what they feel for each other.. they never even tried to set all things clear.. though they tried.. it's seldom.. coz maybe one of them became uneasy.. not becoz of the question but bcoz of the fear that they might be rejected.. and of the fear that the other party might just playing and never take the "relationship" seriously.. in short they feared that it might end up like a basketball game..

but ..

who won?..

no one..

it's cool to have a relationship like this..

no commitment..

no obligations..

no responsibility..

none..

none at all..

only those kilig moments..

but no one will ever like to have a pseudo relationship.. why?..

you have no one to call a PARTNER whom you can plan your future with..

MIND: we're friends nothing more nothing less..

ACTION: i'm inlove with you..

WORDS: we're just friends..

HEART: i love you..

IRONIC

surprise me!

2008-07-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

did i mention i love surprises?? <grin>

Mio pick me up after my class. As soon as I enter his car, he handed me a plastic bag which contain something which I did not know yet. And then he told me, Happy Monthsary! I felt so kilig . But I told him, 'tapos na kaya monthsary natin?' We already celebrated our monthsary the other day. Then he answered, 'so away mo n nyan?' I said no and give him a tight embrace and a peck on the cheek. I was startled when I saw a yellow square with a tie and huge smile inside the bag. Ooooh. I really love Spongebob I love Mio more>. He knows I love that yellow sponge. He even tease when we're at Don Hen that I look cheery and ecstatic the moment I heard the Spongebob's theme song playing in the resto which of course I deny. <wink> I was really surprised tonight. Here's my new huggable sponge..

He's cute right?

Thanks Mio!

Ponzi scheme (Pyramid Scam)

2008-07-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Avarice, mother of crimes, greedy for more the more she possesses, ever searching open-mouthed for gold. - Proverbs 28:1

Greed has always been one of man's failings. The hope of greater gain has lured many a man to throw caution, and his common sense, to the wind. This human foible, known to many, has been exploited throughout the ages by con men, charlatans and cheats to bilk the gullible public of their hard-earned money. History has thus seen the unraveling of various disingenuous stratagems which are at bottom nothing but seams. The case at hand once again proves that "a sucker is born every minute."

Totoong walang pagkaubos sa ating daigdig ang mga taong nanlilinlang. Hindi magkakagayon naman kung walang nagpapalinlang. Dahil sa kanilang malaking hangarin na magkamal ng kimpal kimpal na kayamanan, pinapasukan nila ang mga kaduda-dudang alok ng mga mapagsamantala na kung sila ay mamuhunan ng kaunting salapi, ito ay tutubo ng malaki sa ilang araw lamang. Kaya't napakaraming mga tao ang nagagantso. Hindi masasabing mga hangal o dili kaya'y mga maralita na walang gaanong pinag-aralan ang mga nabibiktima. Kahit ang mga maykaya at matataas sa ating lipunan ay napaglalaruan din. Milyun-milyong salapi ang nahuhuthot sa kanila, hindi ng mga masakim na magnanakaw, kundi ng kanila na ring mga kasamahan sa tinatawag na "alta sociedad." Mismong mga kaibigan at kapanatag ng loob ang naguudyok sa kanilang sumali sa mga pakana na magpapayaman sa kanila. Higit namang nakakaawa kapag ang naloloko ay iyong nangungutang lamang at nagbabakasakali na ang ilang daan nila ay magiging libo.

Itong kapasiyahang ito ng Mataas na Hukuman ay nagbababalang muli. Magpakaingat-ingat ang lahat. Ang naghahangad ng kagitna, isang salop ang nawawala.

Iyon namang nanlilinlang. Walang gawaing masama na hindi nabubunyag rin. Totoong mahigpit ang ating batas na pumaparusa sa mga ganyang hindi na natututo, lalo't higit kung ang mga salarin ay mga sindikato.

-Justice Romero in deciding the case of People of the Philippines vs. Balasa G. R. No. 106357 , September 3, 1998